I had a slow start to the new year as I once again struggled to adapt to the return to work. For some reason this tends to be the time of year that I am most likely to suffer a CFS relapse, and so I was trying to be very mindful not to over do things.

I was leaving work feeling like a zombie (the sensory overload has been immense), and after my customary afternoon nap, enjoyed snuggling under a blanket, reading and doing some crochet.

As I made very little progress in December, I decided to continue working on my Attic24 Yuletide blanket. It is a very long term project as I only bring it out on the first Sunday in Advent and pack it away again on 6th January, but his year I decided that I would keep going with it until Candlemas on 2nd February or, long term project or not, it’s never going to be finished.

I have also made time to get back into family tree research – something that I have been doing on and off for the last twenty years or so, but haven’t really looked at since lockdown when indoor hobbies were vital. Back then we flitted all over the tree, but this month I have been focusing on my Spanish ancestry, as my great great grandparents were both from the Basque region but met in Liverpool, where he was a merchant seaman lodging in a Hispanic boarding house, and she had moved with her parents and siblings. I reached an instant dead end with him, as the details he gave on the marriage certificate do not tally with anything I can find in the Spanish records. However, I discovered that my great great grandmother’s family came from the coastal town of Mundaka and had lived there for generations, and tracing them back over several hundred years has become completely addictive. Now, having more or less decided that we would be heading to Italy for our summer holiday this year and just debating exactly where, I rather want to catch the overnight ferry to Bilbao and reconnect with my Basque heritage!

Walks were short. We very rarely get any snow, but earlier in the month we had a very heavy frost which, because it was so cold, stayed for several days, transforming the countryside into a sparkling magical wonderland,

although the flooded parts of the river path were transformed into a rather terrifying ice rink!

Despite all my precautions however, I ended up catching a flu like virus which has triggered a worsening of the CFS anyway, and I have ended up being signed off from work. I am hoping that I can bounce back quickly and am trying to be positive, but my spirits have inevitably taken a downwards turn. Although I have been spending most of my time lying in bed or on the sofa, trying to rest as much as I can, I find being inactive hard, and I am fighting the urge to try and push myself to do more than I am currently able to do.

I have managed to get into the kitchen to do some baking which has been good. It was Burns night on 25th January and I made some shortbread to mark the occasion. I don’t have any Scottish ancestry, but if you have read any of my other blog posts, you will know that I try to mark as many special events as possible in order to punctuate the humdrum of normal day to day life. Shortbread was the very first thing I ever made in school cookery lessons and I still have my tatty, dog eared, sticky back plastic covered cookery folder with the teacher’s photocopied recipe.

I did adapt it slightly after looking at other recipes online, and although they turned out more golden brown than it seems that shortbread is actually supposed to be, I was still very pleased with the delicious results. (They apparently freeze well too, which is good to know when there’s only me to eat them!)

I also made myself a little Scottish supper that evening, listening to ceilidh music as I cooked. Luckily I had shopped in advance, and although I hadn’t been able to chase around looking for vegetarian haggis, I went for the ‘pick something fried/battered’ approach instead, and substituted a battered ‘sausage’. (I don’t know how much this is actually just a lazy stereotype, although arriving late at a Scottish caravan park some years ago, I was slightly aghast to find that the only veggie offering at the onsite takeaway, apart from just a portion of chips, was a deep fried cheese and tomato pizza!) I had neeps and tatties to go with it, washed down with a can of Irn-Bru, and also made some cranachan. As with my slightly over baked shortbread, I also slightly over whipped the cream – I’m not well, my head is like cotton wool!! – but otherwise it was very tasty.

Yesterday was National Chocolate Cake Day, and to honour the occasion I had already invited my chocoholic younger son and his girlfriend around to enjoy a slice. They are both vegan and, over the last year in particular when I baked them a cake a month as part of their Christmas present, I have been completely converted to the fact that you can still make a really good cake without eggs. I am a particular fan of the Loving it Vegan website, and the recipes have given me great results every time. This was the chocolate fudge cake, and although it was a bigger undertaking than the shortbread and had to be done in multiple stages to avoid over fatigue, the end results were superb. Plus, living alone, it was nice to see some friendly faces when the only other people I had spoken to in over a week were the doctor and her receptionist, and that was on the phone!

And tomorrow is Chinese New Year – so many events in such a short time! I will see what’s in the cupboard and try and rustle up a noodle dish for my dinner for this one.

The fact that it has been so very windy and rainy lately means that I haven’t felt like I have been missing out too much in not being able to get out of the house, but I have managed one very slow walk to the park down the road in order to test out my legs and spotted the first snowdrops growing in a sheltered corner.

I also have one brave daffodil flowering in my front garden. They are a good reminder, if ever I needed it, to take things slowly; to continue to rest and prioritise my health and not to rush into overdoing it. Half term will soon be here – and so will the Spring. Walks and days out are awaiting me, and I want to be ready to embrace them.